What was the last time you read stuff like this in a book?:

Louisiana in September was like an obscene phone call from nature. The air - moist, sultry, secretive, and far from fresh - felt as if it were being exhaled into one's face. Sometimes it even sounded like heavy breathing.

The Middle Ages hangs over history's belt like a beer belly. It is too late now for aerobic dancing or cottage cheese lunches to reduce the Middle Ages. History will have to wear size 48 shorts forever.

Above the building, the sky recalled passages from Les Miserables, threadbare and gray.

My lunar sign is in Virgo. Every month when the moon is full, I'm driven to balance my checkbook and straighten up my apartment. I can't help myself. Instead of a werewolf I turn into an accountant.

Well, now you can buy this book Jitterbug Perfume by Tom Robbins and enjoy. I know I will, come tomorrow :) In the meanwhile, check out more quotes from Jitterbug Perfume. Hope you fall off your seat laughing :D